1:23 p.m.|||2005-03-05
I am such a waste.
Waste of everything.
I just flushed down the toilet more food than a girl like me would eat in a week (ok, maybe a bit less...). In addition to this, I also purged my pills that are fucking expensive!
That's not the end. I also wasted so much water and water is limited, you can't use it again, because it got mixed with soap which I used to clean the bathroom.
Still not the end. I wasted few fucking hours I could use to study for my midterms or write letters or do something useful. At least read newspapers or call someone. At least have some fun. No, I wasted that time.
Still not everything. I wasted my health. My teeth hurt, my heart hurts, I have stomachache and headache and I'm unbelievably cold and tomorrow I'll feel even worse, even weaker.
Isn't that enough? No, because it still doesn't stop me. I don't believe I can stop anymore... I tried, I tried so har. 3 days, 3 pathetic days. That's how long it lasted.
I feel terribly guilty. My parents buy me food, they pay for my studies and I don't do anything but eat-purge-flush-eat-purge...
I'd be more useful dead. At least I couldn't waste anything...
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